The Joys of Airport Security

I feel extremely blessed in life :-

I have a roof over my head, reasonably good health, great friends and lots of opportunities in life. A lot of those things take a lot of work to make happen but, for the most part, I'm feeling rather fortunate.

I'm especially thankful to people like yourself who keep me thinking of ways to share the freaky things that I do with everyone I meet and there are heaps of stories to tell... like the time an 80 year old lady mistook me for a male stripper, the time someone mistook my onstage instruction for something else, or the time I made a mistake and chose the wrong volunteer to help me out (one of the times), and a heap more. Many are funny, some could make one cry, but they're all part of my life and I enjoy sharing most of them with you.

One funny time happened just last year in April/May 2010 when I was booked by a Spiritualist Church to perform a psychic party in Townsville. My friend, Leith, had done the booking herself and surprised me by saying that the hosting house's room was too small.

When she first said this, I was visualising something like a living room as most of these parties are in either the living room or in the rumpus room.

"How many people are there?" I'd asked.

To which she replied that there were 30 or 40 people interested in watching.

Just a brief aside here :- my psychic parties are usually small gatherings of 15-20 people. I present a mini show of about 10-15 minutes with my mind-reading and ESP demonstrations which work as nice little icebreakers for everyone before I start giving them each a palm reading, answering 1 or 2 questions.

Because of the time this can take, 30 or 40 people is A LOT OF PEOPLE. It was too much for time and also the room wasn't quite the right size.

"How about we make it two nights then?" I asked, figuring that I would already be in Townsville.

That turned out to be good for them and wasn't costing any extra as each person was paying for themselves anyway.

When I arrived in Townsville, I'd travelled to different secondhand stores and discount shops to find whatever cutlery I could find - forks, spoons, knives, etc - to bring along to the parties. I do encourage people to bring their own cutlery for the metal bending demonstrations but there are times when people either forget, don't want to bring their good silver, or simply don't bring anything at all. Therefore it was best to be prepared so that everyone could be entertained the same.

Both parties went well. Each time I had someone draw a simple picture ... and then revealed that I had drawn either exactly the same  as they had or I was pretty close... demonstrated how it's possible to memorise very quickly long strings of numbers after having just seen them for 5 seconds.... and then the metal bending.

One gentleman had been dragged along by his wife and, of course, was a complete sceptic. Strangely enough, as he was one of the volunteers for the spoon bending, HIS teaspoon had the greatest effect. It was funny as we had energy workers there who do it professionally. They weren't able to make theirs bend even slightly and his started curling before our eyes.

He was a believer by the end of the night... and I've heard reports that the spoon was still bending by itself for another day or two afterwards!

Another person had a fork which completely snapped with the ends glowing a very light pink-red from the heat generated.

The power of the mind and the ways of the universe are very strange!!!

Now that's not the story itself this time... After both parties, some of the spoons and forks were still left over and unused.

Knowing that I was going to be going through metal detectors, I put those into my bag which was to be kept in the cargo hold.

I've never gone through the metal detectors at an airport without setting off the alarm. Usually it's my belt or my watch or even a couple of coins I've missed. So this time I had already removed my belt, my watch, put my iPhone and my wallet into the tray before walking through the gate and BEEP BEEP BEPP BPPP

Ah, my leather jacket's zippers... So I put the jacket through the x-ray machine, walk through without a beep... and then I find two huge burly security guys coming over towards me. One of them I swear had a chest the size of an Olympic swimming pool and I was sure something was up...

That's when I remembered!

The fork that had bent and snapped at the previous night's party. For some reason the volunteer had given that back to me (people usually take those as souvenirs) and I'd absent-mindedly put it in my pocket and forgotten it.

OOPS!!!!

"You have what looks like a few forks in your pocket," the guard said.

It took some explaining, detailing the freaky mind shit that I do at shows, dealing with the sceptical looks on guard #1 who looked at pool-chest guard #2 with a "Get the taser out" look on his face.

That's how it started until one of them finally said, "Show us."

After bending a fork, held in one of their hands, to the side and one of their keys from their keyring with a few strokes, I was allowed to walk through to the lounge while wondering if anyone was EVER going to believe this when I finally got around to telling others.

What would YOU have done in that situation?

ESPecially Best Wishes,

Chris Johnson
www.thementalist.com.au
www.facebook.com/ChrisJohnsonTheMentalist
(c) Copyright Chris Johnson 2010, 2012, 2015

Bold & The Beautiful ... and Chain Reactions

Bold & The Beautiful... and Chain Reactions

by Chris Johnson

(c)Copyright 2011, 2014

Do you want to know one of the craziest things about my life as a mentalist?

I can read people and I can predict future events... yet, I have trouble sometimes in seeing EVERYTHING.

I can blunder about like a klutz through life, or some stumbling child, and then suddenly things start happening around me that seem totally out of control... such that I wonder, "How the f*ck did I miss that?" or something else similar.

This morning I went out for a run at 4:30am because something in my life has been bothering me and I could not sleep. While I was out doing my run, I was thinking to myself about how some things just go out of whack and it's because I may FORGET (or fail) to think first... and at the age I am approaching now, that's pretty bloody embarrassing.

An observation came to mind from something that happened years ago

and I was around to witness. Someone I knew used to have a laptop which they used on the coffee table. They also decided to make themselves a spider to drink with lots of Coca Cola in it, ice cream, flavouring, etc.

The coffee table stood on a mat which had a lump in it from bunching up. It had been there a while but no one had bothered to straighten it out.

You don't need to be a mentalist or a psychic to know what happened.

This person was walking back to the laptop to do some work, while enjoying their spider... and... TRIP! Oopsy! Oh, shit!!!

One hand goes out to catch themselves, the other drops the glass... the glass misses the floor... hits the coffee table... somehow the glass of the table stayed intact.... even luckier the drinking glass stayed intact as well.... Lucky the glass missed the laptop.... but wait!!! There's MORE!!!!

The glass lands on its base (phew!).... but the momentum keeps it moving... it wobbles.... in true slow motion.... and then.... tips.......

It falls.....

It spills....

Coca Cola fizzes about the table surface.... and... runs.... onto the floor.... and then.... and then.... Oh, crap!!!

It runs towards the laptop!!! It spreads, fizzing as bubbles escape... and then runs UNDER the laptop.... while more splashes (where did THEY come from?) take a life of their own and land right on the laptop's keyboard!!!

Amid the cursings come an accusation levelled at me, saying, "Why didn't you see that happening?"... but I ignored that because I was too busy finding tea towels and napkins to soak the sticky mess up.

Curses were aimed more so at things like :-

• how Coca Cola is really sticky shit
• that icecream really does melt fast in a keyboard
• not being able to enjoy the spider
• who was the bastard that invented gravity anyway

The laptop was totally stuffed and we watched it die a painful death as its blue screen became a faint dot in the display's centre.

All of this from neglecting to either step around that lump in the mat or, better still, fixing it up earlier.

There is an important lesson here and it's one that we can apply to our lives in either business, in our lives, even our relationships with friends, family and partner.

We must look ahead, consider our actions and the consequences if we wish to avoid the dramas.

While running, I also remembered from books like Art of War by Sun Tsu (I've mentioned him before) that a general thinks ahead in multiple steps.

People who lead well, reduce dramas in their lives, and head off problems before they occur and they do that by being able to see many steps ahead as well as the array of possible consequences to their actions. Then they adjust their actions to suit the best outcome.

Those who have lots of drama around them are only looking at immediate consequences, rather than the consequences further down the track... if they are looking at any at all.

It's not that they enjoy it... only that they failed to consider it.

It’s the simple difference between thinking:

• If I take this action, consequence A will happen, or…
• If I take this action, consequence A will happen, which will lead to consequence B, which will lead to C, which will lead to….well, you get the picture.

As an example, you might want to buy a brand new super-duper television set for $500 and you have $500 in the bank.

If you go and buy it now, you may have the immediate pleasure of owning a television set that can let you watchyour favourite shows in awesome colour with a bitching sound system.... but did you remember that you had the $550 put aside to pay your electricity bill so that you can turn it on?

You probably won't realise that until the lights don't turn on for you, you fumble around in the dark to find matches and a candle, miss seeing the lump in the mat that you still haven't fixed yet (even after your laptop died earlier) so that you trip, fall and hit your head on the corner of that coffee table... hit your head so hard that you're knocked unconscious and suffer a bad head injury such that you can't get up to ring the ambulance for help... and your friend isn't around to help because you already told him to piss off because he hadn't warned you to watch out for the lump in the mat!

(close up shot of you bleeding on the floor in the dark while the piano player tickles out some dramatic music... and fades out to a commercial plugging health insurance)

So when you are making a decision about doing something, stop to think about the far-reaching consequences.

Before I close, I'd like to add something.

When you make a mistake, learn from it. When someone else makes a mistake, learn from their consequences so you don't make the same mistake yourself later... but consider the actions as well.

And when you make the mistakes, we all do, learn to forgive yourself for it as well.

We are all human..... well, most of us :)

ESPecially best wishes

Chris Johnson

www.thementalist.com.au

Blind Leading The Blind

The Blind Leading The Blind

by

Chris Johnson

(c) Copyright 2007, 2013

Lately there has been a lot of questions with regards to the photo of me where I am sporting a blindfold and a goatee.

It's an older photo of myself from 1999 at a time when I used to perform some of my ESP demonstrations while blindfolded.

Years ago, I saw one of my early inspirations in the form of Ronricco who is the BEST hypnotist I have EVER seen.

He was one of the last of the old greats dating back at least to the 1950's and his shows included demonstrations of ESP, mentalism and hypnosis.

In fact, he was also my 2nd opportunity to be on stage in front of the public at that very young age as I recall being asked on stage to explain the meaning of the word "ornithorynchus". It doesn't mean much for others to know that but for me, at the age of 11 (going on 12), it meant a hell of a lot.

But the first time I saw him was in 1983 when he hypnotised a number of people who were volunteers and also his two assistants.

One of his assistants was hypnotised so that he could literally be controlled by Ronricco's mental thoughts.

Ronricco would gesture and his blindfolded assistant would literally either stop, turn, raise a hand, and more according to the movement or thought of the hypnotist. Other times I'd seen him since then, the mentalist would even be blindfolded himself using plaster, dough, sticky tape, ping pong balls and all manner of other contrivances to make it impossible to see. Still he could navigate better through an obstacle course than if he were wearing his glasses.

My last conversation with him was after a show where he visited my old hometown of Rockhampton. I knew then it was coming up to his last show although it was never advertised as such. His movements were slowing but his mind as agile as ever. Unfortunately Ronricco is no longer with us, having passed away in 2007 after a long battle with ill health. I'm not sure how old he was but the photo sent to me by another colleague was nothing like the large man I used to know and last saw some 10 years ago. I still have his flyer, personally autographed for me when I saw him in 1994. He gave me encouragement to keep following what I was doing.

My own adventures with blindfolds were probably a little more daring. Although I knew what I was doing, my heartbeat was thumping faster than a bunny's humping. They have included riding a bicycle blindfolded in traffic, jumping over audience members (while blindfolded), hopping from chair to chair without falling and then...

There was also the time I attempted to duplicate the same stunt as Ronricco except I didn't have an assistant to control. I had to wear the blindfold myself.

A bright pink balloon was inflated and bounced amongst the audience, one person to the next, until a particular song stopped on a tape playing from a stereo. The person who had the balloon when the music stopped would have to hold on tightly to the balloon. Before this happened, I was blindfolded with putty, band-aids, a handkerchief over my eyes and
then a black cloth bag. The blindfolding was done by other audience members and seen to be secure and light-proof.

Once they were back in their seats, I took a shaky departure from the stage via the steps into the audience while holding a very nasty sharp dagger.

The thoughts from the audience were my only guide and I would walk step by step, sensing the thoughts as I went as well as other impressions. Finally I raised the knife, poising it ready to strike when I stopped the blade from whistling
downwards.

It's lucky too.

What I believed to be the rubbery surface of a round balloon turned out to the be the shiny oval of a man's bald head. If I'd been two inches too slow, I'd have given him a nasty slash and I could have been writing this from prison!

I put my hand out, patted the bald head and made a joke to get around the near miss before picking up some TRUE thoughts... not those of a smart aleck joker as I had been.

Finally it ended as I sliced through the air and the latex bubble which exploded loudly... and then the applause before I ripped the blindfold off.

There is much more to what I call Sightless Vision. Sometimes I still do the dangerous things but as I get older I know that it's like riding the same rollercoaster over and over. Statistically speaking, there just may be an accident one day.

That's why my heart still beats so fast as the adrenaline course through my veins as I don a black blindfold.

Besides, I know some think it's just so damn sexy! What's your personal thought?


ESPecially Best Wishes,



Chris Johnson

PS: You can learn more about the shows I do at special gatherings and corporate events by visiting www.thementalist.com.au