What To Do With Your Full Cup
by
Chris Johnson (c) 2014
Bruce Lee also spoke about the Empty Cup with a similar
story to the one I detailed in my article from earlier this month. If you haven't read it, you can find it right here.
In Bruce Lee's explanation of the Empty Cup, he described a
glass half full of Coke and another half full of clear water. The Coke was the
student's mind and all the knowledge they had found to be true.
The second
glass represented Bruce Lee's mind and knowledge and skill... which the student
wanted.
Bruce explained that he could not give the student his
knowledge because there was no room for it in the glass. The student would need
to empty his own "glass" to allow for what would come from Bruce.
A couple of the ways that we can apply this to our everyday
lives will be described from BOTH points of view.
Take the example of what most likely happens in your home
life.
You have come home from your day at work which could have
been absolutely hellish. Your boss could have been an absolute bastard and the
customers could have been grumpy creatures before they even thought of speaking
with you about their problems. So by the time 5 o'clock happens your head is
full of the day's trials and tribulations.
When you arrive home, your spouse greets you but they have
had a totally awesome day. Everything went well for them. They managed to
achieve their daily tasks and they seem to have swallowed so much sunshine that
they could be farting rainbows.
Both of you are Full Cups at this point and want to blurt
out all of the day's events to each other. After all, that's what couples do.
They talk, right?
Imagine what happens if your spouse starts talking first.
You see his or her eyes light up and... are you even listening to what they
say? Probably not because you're thinking about how someone at work expected
you to take over a task for her just 2 minutes before you had to go home... and
that task required at least 10 minutes to assess before even attempting it.
However you chose to handle that, you are aching to tell that battle story and
your spouse's words are falling on unlistening ears.
Your spouse may as well be pouring into a glass until it
overflows because that's what happens.
On the other hand, if you speak first and unleash your
stories and woes upon your poor spouse, you will end up potentially ruining
their chances to express themselves too.
Yes, I made this a really tough situation purposely to make
you think for a moment.
Here is one solution (but not the only one), utilising the Cup.
You don't have to Empty the Cup completely. Either of you
could start by saying, "I have some really great news" or "I
have had a really crap day".
Although it's only a little bit, that one little
"spillage" from your Cup could be enough to let you take on your spouse's story before
telling them your story if they are to speak first. Alternatively, if you speak
first, you have emptied yours ready for their story too.
It works both ways. You can empty your cup or you can help empty theirs... or you can both spill a little bit each.
Another example of the Empty Cup comes about through the
workplace. How many emails do you receive or send daily? I mean the ones within
the workplace that detail things about updates to policies, new information on
products, and so on.
I know of at least one company where the staff receive at
least 50 to 100 emails daily AND they are expected to read every single one of
them while answering calls in the call centre every day. Remarkably the
management know about it and do zilch about it, probably because they are
caught in the same poisonous cycle themselves.
Meanwhile their Outlook has just about herniated from the
overload as well as their staff who have gone into a zombified coma from too
much information.
In this case, as the email sender, you could try changing
either how the information is written (eg: bullet points rather than long waffling
paragraphs), how many you send (eg: a digest of points, rather than multiple
messages, or even a summary) or just send the truly important information
(could be hard for some people).
Consider the people you intend to inform of things. They are
busy people too and you need to give them a chance to Empty their Cup to take
on, and appreciate, your own refreshing Tea.
The other challenge is as the one with the Full Cup. What do you do when you are receiving heaps of emails at work which serve as distractions from your work... and yet paradoxically are meant to help you even though it hinders you to have to take time to read the overload?
You have to Empty the Cup in one way or another. You could speak with the manager and ask for time off to catch up on the emails. If you have to keep doing this, day after day, it may indicate an issue with management themselves or even require asking the senders to change their frequency.
The Empty Cup is always in a better position to take on more tea (information), therefore it is a useful cup. The Full Cup, although serving a purpose, is less useful unless it has been emptied at least a little.
Until next time....
ESPecially Best Wishes,
Chris Johnson
